He Must Have a Wife

Betty Carlton, a pretty girl, is sent to a girls' seminary. She is welcomed by all, and everything goes along merrily until one day, when they try to initiate Betty into one of their societies by blindfolding her and dropping cold, wet macaroni through her fingers. It feels so much like snakes that she dashes from the room. From now on she is ostracized. She decides to leave. While packing her trunk. She discovers a burglar climbing into a room where the other girls are having a "feed," to which she has not been invited. All the girls scream and run away. Betty, trusting to her lariat, enters the room, captures the burglar, and is thereby made a friend of all.

Hubby is out of work, and wifey is working as a stenographer, posing as a single woman, in an employment agency. The boss is in love with the pretty typist. He tells her he wants a man right away, and she telephones her husband to come down. He gets the job, which is that of porter. While hubby sweeps the floors and cleans the cuspidors, the boss is holding wifey's hand in the private office. Another suitor, who, also, does not know the stenographer is married, tries to see her and is kicked out by the boss. He tells his troubles to the porter, and then rushes off to tell the boss's wife, for revenge. Hubby listens at the door and is caught by the boss, who tips him to stop spying. The boss's wife, a two-hundred-pounder, arrives just as hubby has gotten up his courage to heat up the boss, and a lively scrimmage ensues.

The deacon's daughter, Betty, is in love with Harold Price. The deacon wants to buy a horse from Harry's father, but because Mr. Price will not give it to him at his own figure the deacon quarrels with Price, and forbids his daughter to see Harry. A troupe of minstrels, stranded, are walking back to New York, and Harry and Betty meet them. They make up as actors, and, accompanied by their new-found friends, rush to the deacon's home and tell him they are an eloping couple who wish to be married. The deacon ties the knot, and after the ceremony the make-up is removed, and he finds he has officiated at his own daughter's wedding. He finally sees the humor of the situation, and his charitable spirit is shared by Harry's father, who makes him a present of the horse he coveted.

This ill-tempered gentleman accompanies his wife to the seashore, but being so insanely jealous of her makes the stay there rather unpleasant. First of all, he refuses to go bathing in the surf with her, and she, despite his command not to, goes in alone. Towering with rage at his wile's defiance, he gets himself into several embarrassing positions. In fact he makes a fool of himself generally.

George is addicted to the flowing cup, and his friends all try to reform him. His intentions are good, but his will is weak and he cannot resist the companionship of bibulous friends. Drastic measures are resorted to, to cure him. One of his friends dresses as a woman, who presents a fierce aspect. When George awakens he is told that while under the influence of liquor he has married his woman, and she proceeds to assert herself. George is in a terrible mental state, but finally he sees the shoe of the "woman" who has forgotten to change those pedal protectors, and the scheme dawns upon him.

A newly wedded couple get mixed up with a black couple, who are also getting wed, as both parties head for the same train.

Harry and Tillie are preparing to elope when her dad appears and boots his would-be son-in-law out of the house. Tillie is locked up in her room, and to regain her liberty feigns illness and apparently swoons. Dad is troubled and telephones for a doctor. Harry, who is hovering around the corner, sees the doctor coming and bribes him to help him in a scheme to see Tillie.

Hiram, a country youth, is in love with Sallie. They go fishing and Sallie falls into the water. Hiram cannot swim, so he runs to the road and stops an automobile, driven by Alfred, a city chap. The latter rescues Sallie, and she feels grateful to him. His attentions to Sallie are not displeasing, and Hiram becomes insanely jealous.

In spite of their oversupply of energy, their Pa-to-be just doted on the kids. The fascinating traveling salesman, who won away their fickle Ma, did not, but through the widow's deception, the kids won the parent of their hearts.

To be a fond and devoted parent, and to be unable to play with the heaven of your heart is indeed a cruel decree. That was the case of Papa Binks, but he outwitted Mrs. Binks and the nurse in a very effective, yet unostentatious manner, while he and the baby had the time of their lives.

Georgie Burns is a conceited, athletic individual, who has turned his home into a gymnasium. His pretty wife is exceedingly vexed but cannot cure him of his love for strenuous sports. A forlorn tramp comes to the floor begging for a meal, and George promptly knocks him down.

A burlesque of a Spanish courtship, in which two rivals for the hand of a beautiful senorita battle with each other.

Mabel is in love with John, the country boy, but her father wants her to marry a Baron. She is locked up in a room, and her father watches her. John takes a bundle of cloth and makes a big firebrand which he throws into the window, at the same time yelling, "Fire." Dad runs for his life and Mabel jumps through the window into the arms of John, who hurries her to the minister's house. The ceremony is about to take place when Dad and the Baron rush in, and Mabel is led home again.

Three rivals are aspirants for the hand of Mabel. Dad falls asleep in a rowboat and is set adrift by one, who tries to win favor as a hero by rescuing him, using a motorboat going at lightning speed. He is exposed, however, and his work goes for naught, as Mabel clings to the man of her choice.

In happy mood, a rollicking, good-natured party of "Jack Tars" on shore leave are out for a good time, and get themselves well under way in song and general good cheer by visiting the only place of merchandise and refreshment which the little seacoast town affords. Under full sail they are steering their way through the streets of the village, running foul of trees and posts, bowing in humble apology for their seeming rudeness and disturbance. They have apparently lost their "sea legs" and are a little bit unsteady in the joints, but merrily they roll along until they come to a swinging bridge crossing the river. Here is where they strike rough weather.