Hardbodies

Poena is Koning follows the sexual awakening of Poena Pieterse and his high school buddy Vaatjie, who have decided that they have to lose their virginity by the time they finish school. But they've picked the worst moment to embark on their sexual escapade – it's matric exam time and their quest results in major distractions from their studies. The consequences are dire.

'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of fertile women from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard.

Ten years after their divorce, Jane and Jake Adler unite for their son's college graduation and unexpectedly end up sleeping together. But Jake is married, and Jane is embarking on a new romance with her architect. Now, she has to sort out her life—just when she thought she had it all figured out.

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khybar pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe, but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas—he wants all the British dead. But his troops fear the 'skirted-devils, who are rumoured not to wear any underwear.

Nerdy Walter Paisley, a maladroit busboy at a beatnik café who doesn't fit in with the cool scene around him, attempts to woo his beautiful co-worker, Carla, by making a bust of her. When his klutziness results in the death of his landlady's cat, he panics and hides its body under a layer of plaster. But when Carla and her friends enthuse over the resulting artwork, Walter decides to create some bigger and more elaborate pieces using the same artistic process.

Finnish porn movie producer Pertsa returns from America to his home country to continue his profession with hopelessly small budgets and incompetent casts and crews. A self-ironic satire about director Donner's scandalous fame in late 1960s Finland, notorious for a graphic long shot of his penis pointing northeast.

When bookseller Buzz cons Diana into thinking that his friend Stanley knows all there is to know about Africa, they are abducted and ordered to lead Diana and her henchmen to an African tribe in search of a fortune in jewels.

At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

Whatever Works explores the relationship between a crotchety misanthrope, Boris and a naïve, impressionable young runaway from the south, Melody. When Melody's uptight parents arrive in New York to rescue her, they are quickly drawn into wildly unexpected romantic entanglements. Everyone discovers that finding love is just a combination of lucky chance and appreciating the value of "whatever works."

Four high school friends plan to ride out their senior year taking easy classes, including a program for housing foreign exchange students and eventually all attending Ohio State. Hurdles befall each of the four: grades, higher aspirations, love. Is it the Foreign Exchange students that learn from their host or the hosts that do more of the learning?

Nick is a successful young man whose comfortable West Coast life couldn't be better. However, when his girlfriend falls under the influence of lecherous music producer Lenny Swackhammer, Nick impulsively decides to travel to Toronto to intervene. Nick's buddies Tyler and Dime opt to turn the quest into a cross-country road trip that's complete with wacky antics and encounters with beautiful women.

Three beautiful Space Babes find themselves stranded on Earth when their spaceship runs out of energy after a dangerous encounter with their mortal enemies, the Scrotes. Once they discover human sexual arousal can recharge their ship, they accept the help of a lonely farm boy to harness energy at a local strip club and get back home — all while avoiding the nasty Scrotes.

The senior class plans to have a skip-day party at the principal's house until Adam Harris leaks the secret, so he decides to save the celebration by hosting it at his house.

Six actors go to a graveyard on a remote island to act out a necromantic ritual. The ritual works, and soon the dead are walking about and chowing down on human flesh.

Determined to avoid another night of driving aimlessly around Torrance in the Blue Torpedo, Joe and Hubbs set out on a quest for fine chicks. Their paths soon cross with Tack, from whom they learn about a pair of foreign radical chicks hanging out near the Frankie Avalon place. Over Joe's objections, Hubbs worms Tack out of the deal, and the pair take a slow ride toward their destiny.